“It’s time you settle down, isn’t it?”
“Maybe you should settle for this right now.”
“He/She’ll never settle down.”
These are some common phrases heard around the world. Words possibly spoke in love (or fear/anger) to a son, daughter, niece, nephew, grandchild.
But what does it mean to hear those words, when inside something feels more “unsettled” than permanent?
The unsettled settler.
Some call it escaping, while others call it growing; Running away or stepping forward?… Laziness or fully living?… Maybe it’s quitting? Or just beginning?
The goal isn’t to turn against society, to be obstinate or ornery. Instead, it’s to live a life enriched with experience beyond the ordinary.
To “settle” used to involve taking risks, traveling across an unknown land beyond the edge of “comfort and common”. This was not a negative trait during those early years of civilization. Rather, It was a necessary part of human nature. We still carry this nature with us today.
There are many ways to traverse across the unknown. While travel can inspire, travel itself seldom grows a person. Most importantly, it’s the choice to take interest in things unknown, to open your mind beyond the familiar to have the strength and independence to live not only according to the rule of society and expectation of those around you.
In this blog, I will share some stories of growing up as an “unsettled settler” in a rural post-industrial midwest and my journey since then. My journey started with a strong desire to travel, explore and meet new and interesting people. But after starting a business and allowing it to take over my life and well being, I responsibly quit and spent time abroad. This was my attempt at getting a balanced view on life, my purpose and passions and what I consider “of value” in my life.
I hope to have other “settlers” share some of their own passions and life experiences that will inspire others to push the boundaries they currently have around themselves and give courage that it is NEVER too late to make choices you believe in no matter how “unknown” the path, how challenging the work, or absurd the thought.
I have a tendency to look in the wrong places for direction. I use my mirrors, but I don’t use my mirrors for a revealing time of self-analysis. For example, glancing at the side mirror of my car to determine if it is safe to make a lane change. Instead, I stare into the rear-view mirror. I recently found myself in a situation where I was surrounded by beautiful scenery, awesome friends, exciting experiences and I was lost in thoughts about situations from my past. I was missing 90% of what joy and happiness I could’ve taken from that moment. I’ll share a few “reflections” on staring backwards while moving forwards.
Past reflections
I am realizing that this “rear-view mirror” mindset only allows me to look at a reflection of my past. A reflection is not an accurate view. They are frequently molded, bent and twisted.My view of the past is strongly shaped by my emotional state when these past events took place.For example, during times when I was desperate for attention, situations that brought attention (whether healthy or not) were felt as a positive experience. The desire to be noticed is a real and valid emotional need. But my choice to meet this need in ways that were often unhealthy or harmful to myself is overlooked in the “rear-view” mirror.
Missing the current moment.
Sometimes my attention is SO devoted to staring at reflections of the past that I miss what could be happening in the present moment. In an effort to “see a sign” or “learn a lesson” I miss out on healing, rebuilding and useful situations that help me grow and develop. It becomes so difficult to communicate very simple and deep human expressions of love towards another person if our focus is elsewhere. Or what about the great sensation of feeling a warm pacific breeze blow through your hair as you breathe a deep breath healthy and fed. (even if that means eating a worm or grasshopper in Thailand) There are many cliched statements about living in and enjoying the moment. There is a reason so many statements meant to inspire this choice have been written.
Missing the future.
When I am driving down the road and I take a moment to look in the mirror for a 1/2 second. The person in front of me slams on their brakes or I drive directly through a hole in the road. This potential danger I searched for in the mirror becomes much less important than the immediate one in front of me. I can give myself much needed time to prepare and react to dangers ahead if I am willing to keep my eyes looking forward. It is not only about dangers in front of me, but also positive goals, achievements, and purpose in life.
Potential dangers in “waiting for the future”
There is a threat also of only dreaming about life in the future as well. For example thinking that life will begin only after….. I get a new job. I graduate. My divorce is final or I have a wife, two kids, a dog and a white picket fence. (I hope I can have a dog and wife one day, not sure which one should become part of my life first) Standing still waiting for the future can create an additional “blind-spot.”
Reflecting on the past can be a very helpful and useful part of working through some painful experience. It also helps our understanding of why we feel what we feel today. But focusing too much in the rear-view mirror makes me miss out on the beautiful scenery currently around me. Not to mention potential potholes in the road ahead. Time to see what lies on the horizon, be present and enjoy the moment I am currently living in.
The northern lights are one of the most mesmerizing and unusual natural wonders in the world. People from all over the world flock to far north on 3 different continents. This, just to witness a light show that puts the trans-Siberian orchestra laser show to shame. How unfortunate that the coldest and darkest months are also some of the best months to see the northern lights! Recently I had the opportunity to see the “aurora borealis” northern lights with my father in Alaska.
Isolation
One of the keys to getting the most vivid view of the northern lights is to isolate yourself from the “light pollution” of the world around you. With a little effort and the help of the Nothern Alaska Tour Company we made it 6hr by bus to Coldfoot Camp. This village is certainly named more appropriately than Philadelphia. Its’ winter temperatures are often between -30F and -40F (-34C and -40C). This village has a population of 10 according to the 2010 census. Better hope you get along with your neighbors. 🙂
Primetime viewing
The University of Alaska Fairbanks has a website dedicated to forecasting when the aurora will be most visible. This site (with hourly updates) provides a scale of auroral activity. You can see which cities in Alaska and Canada offer the best visibility for this amazing display of lights.
Our nights hunting for northern lights
Night 1
Shortly after 11:00 pm I was woken up by my alarm. Peak viewing happens between 11:30 pm and 1:30 am in January at Coldfoot Camp in Alaska and unfortunately whoever is in charge of the lights is unwilling to schedule for earlier hours.
My first night out we took a short trip to the village of Wiseman. Wiseman got its name from the gold mining era. When “wise men” realized there was no gold to be found in Coldfoot and went 6 miles upstream to mine there instead of the barren Coldfoot.
We stayed warm in a cabin built by a miner in the 1930s, while our guide kept watching the sky outside.
He came in and announced optimistically that there was a narrow band of the lights starting to show on the horizon. We bundled up with our fur hats and leather gloves, eager to see the lights for the first time.
As we went out into the silent -27F air I was reminded of how many nights previous humans spent in this town, not for the fun of seeing the northern lights. Rather these men were focused on survival. Their main concerns were finding enough gold to buy food and supplies as well as preventing hypothermia. In spite of our different focus, myself and these former pioneers were standing on the same piece of ground able to witness this same natural wonder nearly 100 years apart.
Small view
The lights had begun making a small showing of light green on the horizon. Unfortunately, they did not develop beyond this on our first night out. We stayed out in Wiseman until nearly 2:00 am. Fortunately, they had a very nice homemade steel barrel outdoor furnace seen in the picture below so our time outside was not as painful.
Outdoor barrel furnace at Wiseman Alaska.
Trappers Cabin in Wiseman Alaska
Night 2.
Night 2 didn’t provide much additional viewing. This time we decided to stay in Coldfoot to view. Again I set my alarm for 11:30 pm and looked out my window for some indication of activity. Sure enough, across half of the midnight horizon, there was a light green glow. Although this night the aurora was more active, the sky was clouded and snowing. Disfigured, the lights only managed to eek out a dim and blurry green glow.
Night 3 (last night in Fairbanks)
Night 3 we had returned to Fairbanks (as our arctic circle tour had ended). We decided to ask some locals where a good place to see the Northern lights may be just outside the city. We were recommended to park at“Hot Springs Gas” which is found a few miles up the Chena Hot Springs road. This gas station is surrounded by hay fields and provides a decent (plowed) place to park away from most city lights. The University website showed high aurora activity expected this night. So again we set our alarms for just before midnight. Alarms rang, we got up, put on our layers and drove about 20 minutes outside of town. Once again we were able to see some pulsing light, but the clouds kept us from the full glory of the northern lights.
The raven
I kept hearing about “the raven” from almost every (tribal) native Alaskan. The raven can help you in the wilderness and other times hurt you. One particular quote came from an older native named “Grandpa Joe.” He said, sometimes success isn’t about the raven or his spirit, “It’s just luck. And some people have more luck than others.” I guess this time, I was part of the “others.”
Click here to watch a 30 min video from the 80s about changing times for Alaskan Natives including “Grandpa Joe.”
*The photo of the northern lights on the top of my blog post was not taken by me but was taken at Wiseman camp by another photographer who did manage a clear night with aurora activity.
Alyeska Alaska. trail thoughts from the Chugach mountains.
You could choose to not climb these hills.
Instead, stay inside during winter. Avoid fighting the cutting cold on your ears and nose.
Likewise, you could stay put inside the comfortable and familiar place of “home”. Never seeing the frost covered trees, the shining crystal forest.
There are avalanches and rock slides. I saw the effects.
Some have died.
Even tall trees that stood hard and wouldn’t bend, let alone crack were cleared away in one terrifying moment. But even these avalanches that demolish everything in their way, make room for new growth.
It’s not until we get out into the mountains and hills, wherever they are, whatever they may be, that we have the chance for new life. Step up and step out.
Click HERE for a link to the Alyeska resort. You don’t need to stay there to enjoy the trails and amazing views from the sky tram.
Anyone have a great story about how avalanche wiped away something in your life or someone close to you? What ways has this allowed change and growth in the days that followed?
Busking. The modern day activity of the traveling minstrel, singing for his supper, charming the fair maids and locals in each town he passes through. I’ll give you a few tips from my 8 years of playing streets, squares and corners in almost every European country and the U.S.A.
3 helpful tips
Be engaging! If you are interested in making more than pocket change in your case, you gotta learn to engage.
I have found making eye contact, smiling, standing up while playing (If at all possible) moving/dancing while playing, speaking to people between songs, playing familiar/popular music and limiting the number of sad/slow songs I play to less than 1/4 of my set has helped my engagement.
Know the difference between real police and street police. There are usually two types of police in Europe. Street police and real police. Real police, although they appear much more intimidating, are usually less likely to shut you down for playing music in the street. The local city council often requires a permit to busk. Acquiring one of these permissions slips can be quite a process. It is much easier to ask forgiveness than permission. I have not been fined yet for playing in the street even when I was told it was not permitted. DO NOT use the local language with police even if you know and understand it. ENGLISH=IGNORANCE. 🙂 use it.
Watch out for “territorial” performers Seriously. It’s not always a dream to tour Europe street performing. You will often find gypsy or Roma people to be very pushy and accuse you of taking their “spot”. I assure you in these situations EVERY spot in the city is their spot. If you are alone, you may want to back down or at least give a look at surrounding street corners. You can make sure there is not an accomplish of your competition waiting to follow you home.
Just be a friendly and respectful person to all who you encounter and most issues resolve fairly quickly. Listen to, and reach out to friendly and approachable street artists for some tips on good places to play around the city. Click here for a more detailed guide about busking from tuneupandtravel.com. Do you have any tips or experiences to share of your time on the busking circuit? Share in the comments below.
Would you like to live high class at a low price? Look no further than L’viv, Ukraine.
I had the honor of visiting there a few times in the past couple years. I will write more about other amazing and interesting things I saw there in other posts but this particular experience really stood out to me! Near the center of L’viv, you will find The National Academic Theater of Opera and Ballet. This building is beautiful inside and out. Click HERE for a 360-degree virtual tour. My story is written below.
I was enjoying some time with friends in L’viv when they suggested we go to the National theater that evening. I know how costly these “high brow” events can be in other parts of Europe, but what a surprise I had when we got to the ticket counter.
There were tickets available from 50 UAH (less than $2) or the BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE for 300 UAH ($12). These professional productions included the Nutcracker among others and certainly offer a treat for the eyes and ears. Not only was the performance excellent, but the architecture as well. In keeping with high society I indulged myself in the finer offerings of L’viv. Champagne and hot dogs. Yes, it’s real, click HERE. Only 5-minutes walk from the National Theater.
L’vivs’ National Academic Theater of Opera and Ballet is a MUST for anyone with even the most basic interest in the arts. You can also experience a part of local culture for a fraction of the cost in most other European countries.
There are a variety of clever, amusing and beautiful sights as well as activities waiting for you visit in L’viv. I have yet to visit the other major Ukrainian cities of Odessa and Kiev, but the word on the street is they are equally as enchanting.
You can see the walls and wire in the distance; heavy defenses with the threat of injury if you choose to go further into the borderland.
the unknown.
Your friends told you “don’t go”. Your parents say “it’s dangerous” but you know that the only wrong move would be to “make no move at all”. The consequence of staying put equals death to your soul, the consequence of leaving into the unknown is a definite resistance from many around you who tell you they have your best interest in mind. You are in the borderland.
This choice to shift places or “step across the border” in your life may never take place geographically. It doesn’t have to.
There are so many daily “uphill battle” choices to make that require a movement of mind more than of location. Maybe it’s the choice to quit your day job and start your own business, or the choice to end an unhealthy but familiar relationship. Maybe it’s choosing to forgive and put justice second, or a choice to shake up your daily routine, leave the familiar behind and find more fulfilling and purpose orientated ways to spend your time.
No doubt if you manage to live a few decades more you will likely come to regret things you did NOT do far more than things you did. This process can involve reaching out to your inner child and listening to why you may not have the confidence to take these important next steps. You can click HERE for a brief overview of the “inner child” concept.
There is a light bulb in your brain, full of potential to shine, radiate light, creativity, and ideas. But without electricity flowing into it, it will remain a dull, unlit, useless piece of glass. How can we find our way back to passionate living? In my own experience, traveling has helped me find new, creative and helpful thoughts that have pushed my personal development further ahead causing a “breakthrough” in my emotional gridlock or triggered an avalanche of business ideas that are just waiting to hatch into success.
I ask myself why it is so easy to have these thoughts and feelings while abroad and so difficult when I am in my hometown back in The States? Is it really the new sights, smells, and experiences that cause this inspiration? (It’s true well-made tiramisu and flavored polish vodka do inspire) but maybe it’s something more… something else that happens to me while traveling that “allows” these new and fresh thoughts? To oversimplify… Make useful space in your life. Here are 4 ideas to add electricity to that bulb in your brain.
1. Leave. There is nothing like “leaving” that can free your mind. The old adage “out of sight out of mind” certainly holds true in this area. When you do not see your office, have business phone calls, or a “to do” list staring at you from the fridge it becomes much easier for your mind to create its own independent fresh thoughts. Leave your familiar surroundings and DON’T plan every moment of your travel. Don’t plan to sit idle in the sun on the beach ALL day either. Make sure there are a minimum of a few hours each day unscheduled and unplanned to walk around, observe, reflect or read a book that will not only entertain but inspire.
2. Be intentional about having quiet time. The second best thing to leaving the distractions of life behind is making time to be quiet. It requires much more discipline to schedule quiet time and observe these holy hours while at home surrounded by the distractions of your daily routine than it does while traveling. If you commit to the idea of setting aside a bit of time each day to have NOTHING scheduled You are on your way to exercising your mind in a way that will bring new experiences (internal and external) into your life.
3.Prioritize a healthy emotional state. There is nothing that can sabotage creativity and motivation faster than unhealthy relationships. These kinds of relationships oppress and distract our minds. They don’t allow much “space” for dreaming up the next million dollar invention. Or more valuable yet, the next steps towards self-awareness and understanding.
4.Pursue an art. Studies have shown that art in a variety of forms increases intelligence, emotional well-being, creativity, attention, and cognition. There is an exploration that takes place in art. While we create, we explore our emotions and minds to find “something” to say. Whether it be with a brush, a voice, and instrument or a pen. It will start you down a path of exploring corners of your mind you may not have visited for a long long time.
