Lifestyle Archives - Page 2 of 2 - The Unsettled Settler

Lifestyle March 26, 2017

I started my first business at 14 yr old and why that doesn’t matter

I started my first business at 14 yr old. Maybe my age makes it sounds like an impressive accomplishment or just something to say for bragging rights? I can honestly tell you, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is “starting” and defining success.

capability

Thomas Edison once said, “If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.” Have you ever taken the time to quiz yourself or dream about this statement? The catch 22 is we have no idea what we are capable of until we enter the territory of the unknown. People seem to have no problem being “brave” and discovering the answer to the question “how much alcohol are you capable of drinking?” There seems to be little fear of the consequence of “failing” while learning the answer. When I was a child I watched many successful stock brokers, archaeologists, treasure hunters, and real estate moguls (including the one with small hands) on T.V. I remember thinking, “I wonder if I could do that?”.

American Dream

I was fortunate enough to grow up inside one positive aspect of American culture often referred to as the “American Dream.” Americans seem to gobble up as many stories as possible about people who have gone from rags to riches. In my earlier years far more inspiring was watching teenagers who by a stroke of luck, or brilliance became successful in tech or trading stocks during the dot-com boom of the 1990’s. I’m not sure if it was my 9-year-old pride, arrogance, ignorance, insecurity or an open mind. But I remember thinking “if these kids can do this, I should be able to as well.” Any why not? Every success story comes from a baby human being, born ignorant and uneducated, right?

Starting

Starting. Often the biggest hurdle to any of my past success was the failure to even start. I phrase it that way on purpose. Failure to start is a failure. Starting something and learning after awhile that you will not be able to continue,
2 scenarios.

1.Failure to start=definate failure
2.Starting something and learning after awhile that you will not be able to continue=potential failure

What one will you choose?

SO WHAT?

I could write feel good headlines like “Quit my day job, became a travel blogger, now my life is better than yours” or “I used to suffer the 9-5 routine but now that I have mastered social media, I only work 1 hr per day from a penthouse in Singapore”.
These kinds of headlines are good and fine, but is everyone really looking to quit a “normal job” and start making a living from a computer? Probably not. Often there are far more relevant headlines that I wish saw getting the same amount of attention. Our society is quite focused on money being a measurement of success. Until this changes, I guess we will keep focusing on these types of headlines.

defining success.

So how would your defining headline read? “I finally started going out in public with very little makeup on because I’m ok with the way I look” or “I got the courage to speak about what happened to me in my past” or “80% of my choices used to be dictated by what others thought of me, now it’s nearly 0%”
The point is that if there is something in your life you think you should start doing then do it. If it’s starting a business GREAT! Get some good books, read up about what you would like to do and learn from people who have done it or are already doing it. Work for someone (for free, if you must) who is a master in this just to learn the ropes. See what is done well, see what can be done better.

Virtues

If it’s about becoming a more courageous person. Maybe consider what steps you should start taking to free yourself from fear. As Aristotle taught, one of the best ways to become virtuous is by developing virtuous habits. For example, courage. Each time you are faced with a small choice to be courageous or fearful. (even with a silly choice of trying a new food) choose the courageous. By doing this, in time you will have series of courageous choices that amount to you being defined and growing into a courageous person. Click HERE for a pretty great write up on his teachings.

Questioning

When I started my first business, a small I.T. helpdesk, and service company at 14 years old I can honestly say I didn’t know that it was possible to make a successful business out of it. But I intended to find out. I calmed my childish fears by saying. I have 4 years to figure this out then by the time I graduate I will have to be a serious adult, if things aren’t working out by then I guess I will have to get a “Real” job like everyone else. Although these thoughts seemed to pacify my fears at the time, they didn’t resolve my core fears of taking steps that most others in society didn’t often take or didn’t approve of. These fears would continue to haunt me for years. They would affect the choices I had to make in business, relationships, and life. I had some positive support from my family that I could try to do this if I wanted to. This certainly was a huge help during “difficult” times.

Commented insecurity

Most other people’s comments (extended family and often friends) only increased my insecurities if only temporarily. If I would have a slow week at work, comments like “it’s the middle of the day, why aren’t you working” or “I had a friend who tried to have a service business, but he was so sick of it after 2 years he quit” or even the innocent “I could never do that.” . These comments made it very difficult for me to stay confident in the fact that I COULD do it.

Fear & Doubt hesitation and regret.

A wise old man once told me, “Charlie, there is no room for unwanted house guests in your life. I asked him what he was talking about. “fear and doubt have been lodging with you too long,” He said. “Also their cousins’ hesitation and regret. It’s time you throw them out”. Certainly hearing someone say they saw these “house guests” in my life and defining it this way made me more aware to not allow any space for them anymore in my choices and though patterns.

Learn to define success based on your own desires and goals. Don’t get discouraged by headlines that seem impossible for you in your current situation. Likewise, don’t be discouraged by headlines that don’t reflect outcomes that would enrich your life.

The unsettled settler.

Lifestyle March 18, 2017

The Unsettled Settler. Life outside the lines

The unsettled settler.

“It’s time you settle down, isn’t it?”
“Maybe you should settle for this right now.”
“He/She’ll never settle down.”

These are some common phrases heard around the world. Words possibly spoke in love (or fear/anger) to a son, daughter, niece, nephew, grandchild.
But what does it mean to hear those words, when inside something feels more “unsettled” than permanent?
The unsettled settler.

Some call it escaping, while others call it growing; Running away or stepping forward?… Laziness or fully living?… Maybe it’s quitting? Or just beginning?

The goal isn’t to turn against society, to be obstinate or ornery. Instead, it’s to live a life enriched with experience beyond the ordinary.

To “settle” used to involve taking risks, traveling across an unknown land beyond the edge of “comfort and common”. This was not a negative trait during those early years of civilization. Rather, It was a necessary part of human nature. We still carry this nature with us today.

There are many ways to traverse across the unknown. While travel can inspire, travel itself seldom grows a person. Most importantly, it’s the choice to take interest in things unknown, to open your mind beyond the familiar to have the strength and independence to live not only according to the rule of society and expectation of those around you.

In this blog, I will share some stories of growing up as an “unsettled settler” in a rural post-industrial midwest and my journey since then. My journey started with a strong desire to travel, explore and meet new and interesting people. But after starting a business and allowing it to take over my life and well being, I responsibly quit and spent time abroad. This was my attempt at getting a balanced view on life, my purpose and passions and what I consider “of value” in my life.

I hope to have other “settlers” share some of their own passions and life experiences that will inspire others to push the boundaries they currently have around themselves and give courage that it is NEVER too late to make choices you believe in no matter how “unknown” the path, how challenging the work, or absurd the thought.

Go, explore, learn, dream.

The “unsettled settler”

Lifestyle March 14, 2017

Rear-view Thinking. (staring backward running forwards)

I have a tendency to look in the wrong places for direction. I use my mirrors, but I don’t use my mirrors for a revealing time of self-analysis. For example, glancing at the side mirror of my car to determine if it is safe to make a lane change. Instead, I stare into the rear-view mirror. I recently found myself in a situation where I was surrounded by beautiful scenery, awesome friends, exciting experiences and I was lost in thoughts about situations from my past. I was missing 90% of what joy and happiness I could’ve taken from that moment. I’ll share a few “reflections” on staring backwards while moving forwards.

Past reflections

I am realizing that this “rear-view mirror” mindset only allows me to look at a reflection of my past. A reflection is not an accurate view. They are frequently molded, bent and twisted. My view of the past is strongly shaped by my emotional state when these past events took place.For example, during times when I was desperate for attention, situations that brought attention (whether healthy or not) were felt as a positive experience. The desire to be noticed is a real and valid emotional need. But my choice to meet this need in ways that were often unhealthy or harmful to myself is overlooked in the “rear-view” mirror.

Missing the current moment.

Sometimes my attention is SO devoted to staring at reflections of the past that I miss what could be happening in the present moment. In an effort to “see a sign” or “learn a lesson” I miss out on healing, rebuilding and useful situations that help me grow and develop. It becomes so difficult to communicate very simple and deep human expressions of love towards another person if our focus is elsewhere. Or what about the great sensation of feeling a warm pacific breeze blow through your hair as you breathe a deep breath healthy and fed. (even if that means eating a worm or grasshopper in Thailand) There are many cliched statements about living in and enjoying the moment. There is a reason so many statements meant to inspire this choice have been written.

Missing the future.

When I am driving down the road and I take a moment to look in the mirror for a 1/2 second. The person in front of me slams on their brakes or I drive directly through a hole in the road. This potential danger I searched for in the mirror becomes much less important than the immediate one in front of me. I can give myself much needed time to prepare and react to dangers ahead if I am willing to keep my eyes looking forward. It is not only about dangers in front of me, but also positive goals, achievements, and purpose in life.

Potential dangers in “waiting for the future”

There is a threat also of only dreaming about life in the future as well. For example thinking that life will begin only after….. I get a new job. I graduate. My divorce is final or I have a wife, two kids, a dog and a white picket fence. (I hope I can have a dog and wife one day, not sure which one should become part of my life first) Standing still waiting for the future can create an additional “blind-spot.”

Reflecting on the past can be a very helpful and useful part of working through some painful experience. It also helps our understanding of why we feel what we feel today. But focusing too much in the rear-view mirror makes me miss out on the beautiful scenery currently around me. Not to mention potential potholes in the road ahead. Time to see what lies on the horizon, be present and enjoy the moment I am currently living in.

Lifestyle January 14, 2017

Alyeska Alaska. Some trailing thoughts

Alyeska Alaska. trail thoughts from the Chugach mountains.

You could choose to not climb these hills.

Instead, stay inside during winter. Avoid fighting the cutting cold on your ears and nose.

Likewise, you could stay put inside the comfortable and familiar place of “home”. Never seeing the frost covered trees, the shining crystal forest.

There are avalanches and rock slides. I saw the effects.

Some have died.

Even tall trees that stood hard and wouldn’t bend, let alone crack were cleared away in one terrifying moment. But even these avalanches that demolish everything in their way, make room for new growth.

It’s not until we get out into the mountains and hills, wherever they are, whatever they may be, that we have the chance for new life. Step up and step out.

Click HERE for a link to the Alyeska resort. You don’t need to stay there to enjoy the trails and amazing views from the sky tram.

Anyone have a great story about how avalanche wiped away something in your life or someone close to you? What ways has this allowed change and growth in the days that followed?

Lifestyle December 31, 2016

A guide to busking Europe- the “to’s, not to’s, how to’s and who’s who”

Busking. The modern day activity of the traveling minstrel, singing for his supper, charming the fair maids and locals in each town he passes through. I’ll give you a few tips from my 8 years of playing streets, squares and corners in almost every European country and the U.S.A.

3 helpful tips

Be engaging!
If you are interested in making more than pocket change in your case, you gotta learn to engage.
I have found making eye contact, smiling, standing up while playing (If at all possible) moving/dancing while playing, speaking to people between songs, playing familiar/popular music and limiting the number of sad/slow songs I play to less than 1/4 of my set has helped my engagement.
Know the difference between real police and street police.
There are usually two types of police in Europe. Street police and real police. Real police, although they appear much more intimidating, are usually less likely to shut you down for playing music in the street. The local city council often requires a permit to busk. Acquiring one of these permissions slips can be quite a process. It is much easier to ask forgiveness than permission. I have not been fined yet for playing in the street even when I was told it was not permitted. DO NOT use the local language with police even if you know and understand it. ENGLISH=IGNORANCE. 🙂 use it.
Watch out for “territorial” performers
Seriously. It’s not always a dream to tour Europe street performing. You will often find gypsy or Roma people to be very pushy and accuse you of taking their “spot”. I assure you in these situations EVERY spot in the city is their spot. If you are alone, you may want to back down or at least give a look at surrounding street corners. You can make sure there is not an accomplish of your competition waiting to follow you home.

Just be a friendly and respectful person to all who you encounter and most issues resolve fairly quickly. Listen to, and reach out to friendly and approachable street artists for some tips on good places to play around the city. Click here for a more detailed guide about busking from tuneupandtravel.com. Do you have any tips or experiences to share of your time on the busking circuit? Share in the comments below.

Lifestyle December 19, 2016

Paid vacation teaching english in the Ukrainian mountains

Oct 20, 2014…
a random facebook message comes into my inbox from a stranger.
“Hi, I am looking for a native speaker to invite on a paid vacation to communicate with the kids at the Camp in Carpathian mountains. The problem is that it starts in only a week October 27-31, would you possibly be interested?”

This began my relationship with a wonderful Ukrainian friend of mine Olesya. She and her husband Viktor started an English language school in L’viv Ukraine called “Linguistic Center Boyar.” They also arrange weeklong intensive learning camps for young Ukrainians eager to expand their knowledge and practice of English.

Paid vacation teaching English

I responded to Olesya’s facebook message and told her I was interested in hearing more about what this week in camp would look like. Although I wasn’t completely sure if I had just started a conversation with my future kidnapper, so I decided to proceed with caution. I requested a skype interview with Olesya to make sure this friendly and innocent looking blonde woman’s profile pic was in fact, a REAL friendly and innocent blonde woman and not a shaved head former KGB agent running an international kidnapping ring.

After my Skype interview, Oleysa no longer felt threatening. I took an overnight bus to Ukraine a week later. My hosts gave me a tour of a beautiful school they had built in L’viv and shortly after we were boarding some small busses with a few young teachers and lots and lots of kids aged 7-15. We arrived at a beautiful lodge/resort tucked away in the Carpathian mountains. I spent the next 5 days there teaching and participating in some basic English classes and activities.

There were a few overwhelming moments I needed to remind myself of what Olesya had said to me early on “this is a vacation, not a job.” When I saw my time spent in this light it helped me focus on the value of my time. After a week with these lovely teachers, I saw the amazing future they are providing their young students by giving them access to the world of English. This experience easily convinced me of the value of this time spent and it encouraged me to keep a more healthy perspective. Check out the fb page of Boyar Camp for pictures and videos that give a better idea of the excellent work they are doing there.

Lifestyle December 9, 2016

Borderland (standing on the edge)

You can see the walls and wire in the distance; heavy defenses with the threat of injury if you choose to go further into the borderland.

the unknown.

Your friends told you “don’t go”. Your parents say “it’s dangerous” but you know that the only wrong move would be to “make no move at all”. The consequence of staying put equals death to your soul, the consequence of leaving into the unknown is a definite resistance from many around you who tell you they have your best interest in mind. You are in the borderland.

This choice to shift places or “step across the border” in your life may never take place geographically. It doesn’t have to.

There are so many daily “uphill battle” choices to make that require a movement of mind more than of location. Maybe it’s the choice to quit your day job and start your own business, or the choice to end an unhealthy but familiar relationship. Maybe it’s choosing to forgive and put justice second, or a choice to shake up your daily routine, leave the familiar behind and find more fulfilling and purpose orientated ways to spend your time.

No doubt if you manage to live a few decades more you will likely come to regret things you did NOT do far more than things you did. This process can involve reaching out to your inner child and listening to why you may not have the confidence to take these important next steps. You can click HERE for a brief overview of the “inner child” concept.

Lifestyle December 8, 2016

4 ways to electrify/ passionate living

There is a light bulb in your brain, full of potential to shine, radiate light, creativity, and ideas. But without electricity flowing into it, it will remain a dull, unlit, useless piece of glass. How can we find our way back to passionate living? In my own experience, traveling has helped me find new, creative and helpful thoughts that have pushed my personal development further ahead causing a “breakthrough” in my emotional gridlock or triggered an avalanche of business ideas that are just waiting to hatch into success.

I ask myself why it is so easy to have these thoughts and feelings while abroad and so difficult when I am in my hometown back in The States? Is it really the new sights, smells, and experiences that cause this inspiration? (It’s true well-made tiramisu and flavored polish vodka do inspire) but maybe it’s something more… something else that happens to me while traveling that “allows” these new and fresh thoughts? To oversimplify… Make useful space in your life. Here are 4 ideas to add electricity to that bulb in your brain.

1. Leave. There is nothing like “leaving” that can free your mind. The old adage “out of sight out of mind” certainly holds true in this area. When you do not see your office, have business phone calls, or a “to do” list staring at you from the fridge it becomes much easier for your mind to create its own independent fresh thoughts. Leave your familiar surroundings and DON’T plan every moment of your travel. Don’t plan to sit idle in the sun on the beach ALL day either. Make sure there are a minimum of a few hours each day unscheduled and unplanned to walk around, observe, reflect or read a book that will not only entertain but inspire.

2. Be intentional about having quiet time. The second best thing to leaving the distractions of life behind is making time to be quiet. It requires much more discipline to schedule quiet time and observe these holy hours while at home surrounded by the distractions of your daily routine than it does while traveling. If you commit to the idea of setting aside a bit of time each day to have NOTHING scheduled You are on your way to exercising your mind in a way that will bring new experiences (internal and external) into your life.

3.Prioritize a healthy emotional state. There is nothing that can sabotage creativity and motivation faster than unhealthy relationships. These kinds of relationships oppress and distract our minds. They don’t allow much “space” for dreaming up the next million dollar invention. Or more valuable yet, the next steps towards self-awareness and understanding.

4.Pursue an art. Studies have shown that art in a variety of forms increases intelligence, emotional well-being, creativity, attention, and cognition. There is an exploration that takes place in art. While we create, we explore our emotions and minds to find “something” to say. Whether it be with a brush, a voice, and instrument or a pen. It will start you down a path of exploring corners of your mind you may not have visited for a long long time.

Lifestyle October 12, 2016

Bin there done that (grain bin to Big Bin Studios)

Some may only see an antiquated, small (by today’s standard) steel grain bin on an old farm in rural Michigan. Maybe the only future for this bin is at the steel recyclers? These old grain bins are often recycled into new steel, but this one became Big Bin Studios.

It was during my high school years that I took an interest in sound engineering and recording. When I was 19, I decided to study abroad in Ireland(I will write a post about this in the future as well). I returned from my studies with a plan to build a professional recording studio, but I didn’t have enough money to rent a commercial space and buy all the gear I needed. I started looking at alternatives and the old empty grain bin in the middle of the farm came to mind!

Construction begins

The bin was only exterior steel shell 25′ in diameter and a cement floor. I knew its days of usefulness for storing grain were behind it so I borrowed a torch and started cutting a hole for a door in the side. That choice started a 3yr construction project and my challenge to see this structure, not as it was, but rather for what it could be.

Me, after cutting the door frame into the bin

Click the image above for a video tour on YouTube

Step by step, the staircase was built. Wire was pulled through the walls and scaffold was brought in to hang drywall on the ascending cathedral ceilings. Next, paint, carpeting, heating and cooling and finally sound and office equipment were installed.
A skylight filled the space where the grain used to pour in.

I read many books during this time about construction. A very helpful book was “How to build a small budget recording studio from Scratch”. Click HERE for a link. This book, among others, gave me a variety of tips on soundproofing techniques, acoustic panel construction and wiring methods. Family and friends and plenty of “sweat equity” helped complete Big Bin in appx. 3 years. Since then many locals artists have recorded their albums here with me. Since it’s construction, this unique office and recording space has been featured in many newspapers across the USA.

Things are not always as they seem

In those days there was no book written on how to transform a grain bin into a usable workspace. (I see these guys offer plans HERE, though.) Looking back, I was reminded how important it is to not limit myself and only FOLLOW what someone else has already done. I need to keep my eyes open to resources I already have in front of me even if it means using those situations or objects in an unconventional way and dreaming beyond what others have already seen.

I’d love to hear what you guys think of this place, or if there are any questions. Let me know about some steps you may have taken to use a situation or thing in an unconventional way? Post in the comments below.